Burn Out

It's slowly coming to my attention that I am running out.  Running out of energy, patience, interest, health, the lot. 

The last year or more at work has just been an outright slog.  Changing priorities at the drop of a hat, new software, new procedures, new demands, agh! Plus, our manager is using us to accomplish stuff throughout the department that isn't really our job - but since we are effective and willing, we're being used to provide an example and grease the wheels. I don't usually oppose change on principle, but I'm starting to feel like a spinning top dropping down a bottomless well.

I love my friends and my shiatsu clients (there's a lot of overlap in those categories), but I'm starting to resent the time I'm spending with them.  It feels like lately I'm expending a lot of energy taking care of people and less just enjoying time with them. Individually, none of the demands are arduous, but there's just so many of them! I never have time to just sit and read or work on a project and have the energy to actually do it. 

I'm planning to take a month off of shiatsu in the summer, but I'm honestly feeling like I want to stop for a while. However, I know that there are people who really depend on me and the extra income really helps out. I think it's part of the reason that I like the idea of Stuart getting a job somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I can have the break without the guilt and responsibility of making that decision.  

I've been thinking over the last month that I need to cut something or re-arrange or make some change, but I can't figure out what or how.

• work takes up far too much of my time, but it's sort of necessary
• shiatsu is usually 1-4 treatments a week, but it basically eats up an entire evening
• archery is one night a week and I'm truly enjoying it, I don't want to stop that!
• SCA hasn't actually taken much time, but the need to do research, and start sewing and crafting (and spending some money) is looming

Worrying about money is pissing me off too.  I always seem to be $100-200 short in each pay cheque for what I'd need/like. I'm tired of paying off loans, but that isn't finished yet. 

And now I've run out of energy or inspiration for this post. *shakes head*