Maybe this will make it real?

If you ask people who know me to come up with words to describe me, terms like athletic, active and sporty will not make the list.  I doubt they'd even pass through anyone's mind as an option.  But there are too many reasons for some kind of activity to be important:

• physical health
• mental health
  
• beauty
• environment

And lately, keeping up with Stuart and Ursa.

Yup, I swore I'd never do it.  I told Stuart on our first date that if he was looking for a running partner we should just both go home now.  But, Stuart always seems to have the energy and stamina for any activity - running or not.  Part of that is a big dose of testosterone, but not all of it.  So, if I want to stop feeling guilty about being the anchor in our outdoor activities, I have to do something.

And so, this summer, I decided that I was going to give running a try. I was quite determined about it.  But fate rarely works out in my favour (although I really DO appreciate it, when it does!)  I went to Stuart's favorite running store and tried on 10 or 12 pairs of running shoes.  They didn't have the ones I wanted in my size, so I special ordered them.  A week later I got a call saying that the model wasn't being made anymore.  So I went back and tried on more and bought a pair.  Yeah!  Shoes!  What else do you need for running?

Well, time.  And I freely admit that it's a cop out, but life got particularly busy just then and running wasn't at the top of my priority list. 

Then I went for surgery.  Nothing terribly huge, but a couple of holes in my abdominal wall for them to muck about in my core through didn't inspire me to run.  Shuffle gently maybe, while ready to grab a wall if necessary.

Then I started my new job.  Nervous, tense, new desk set-up and even I felt like I needed to get my body moving properly again.  So I packed up the shoes and my nifty new heart rate watch and trundled off to the gym with Stuart.  My own personal sadist made me run the track for as long as I could, stopping just short of actually falling over.  It was by no means a spectacular distance, but I made it farther than I would have imagined.  Much farther.  Yeah me!  If I remember correctly, the track is a 1/4 mile and he set me to doing alternating laps of running and walking.

I hurt the next day, but I also had the warm glow of virtuous accomplishment.  Like baking a batch of awesome cookies, but without the buried guilt and sugar crash.  I thought "I can do this!" and promptly fell off the wagon.  Again, there's no good reason why... Trying to work out the new job schedule while still meeting the puppy's needs, treating my clients and a bunch of other "things" that always seemed more important. 

But Monday night, I met Stuart at the gym after work and tried again.  He suggested I start with 2 & 1's (walk 2 laps, run 1, repeat) and I did.  Trying to concentrate on my form (get it right in the beginning or spend years fixing bad habits), trying not to feel guilty about getting in the way of people actually running, wondering if I should mention to the girl doing sprinting training that she'd probably go much faster if she did something about the painful looking angle of her pelvis...

I asked Stuart way back in the summer not to tell anyone that I was giving running a try.  Particularly since there are a number of runner's in our regular crowd.  I didn't want to deal with a ton of advice or ribbing about my previous certainty that I'd never do it or worst... hazing if I decided I really didn't want to do it after all.  So why this big long post here and now?  Well, to the best of my knowledge, there are about 5, maybe 6 people who read this blog and most of them already know about my trying running, if not all the details - so no problem there.  And I mentioned to someone this morning (in reaction to yesterday's post) that writing stuff down helps me work it out, so maybe writing this down will help me work it in? 

I'm not big on New Year's resolutions, but I might be trying one this year.