28 Dec 2006
 | Moving right along So, yes, I went out with David on Friday night. We'd had some lovely talks before hand, so I think we both had high hopes. And I did have a good time, but... it became more evident as the night went on that there was a decided gap in, call it "life experience", for lack of a better description. And it didn't bother me in the sense of his being boring or anything, but something just didn't feel right and I couldn't put my finger on it. So I wrote the last blog and then plunged into the Christmas insanity. I got an email from David shortly thereafter and the impression I got was that he'd read the blog and was... not happy. So I emailed him back saying that the timing sucked with Christmas obligations, but if he could be patient, I'd like to think a bit and get together when things calmed down. My thinking generated this: I think there is a danger that a wide gap in experience can create problems similar to a variance in power. I have no interest in being in "control" in a relationship. And while I'd be happy to introduce anyone to the things that I like (music, movies, etc.), there seemed to me to be a danger that David would just wholeheartedly embrace whatever I like. That wouldn't be fair to either of us. And these were the concerns that I had planned to discuss with him and get his opinion. However, the email I got back was rather... short. When I finally logged in and found it, my initial response was to start composing a conciliatory email, but it was late and I was tired and I thought, maybe I should sleep on it. So I did, and I woke up this morning remembering various things I've seen and heard people say over the past while and I thought - forget that! I met this guy less than 2 weeks ago and already I'm supposed to be cajoling him out of a mood? Life is way too freaking short. So my advice to David, in a completely heartfelt and un-sarcastic mode, is that maybe you should put the girlfriend search on hold and pursue your life. Do some of that travelling, follow up on your interests, etc. There was potential, but I think you've fallen victim to the bad timing that seems to be my hallmark these days. Normally, I'm the negotiator, the peace-maker, so this is a bit odd for me, but.... I'm just lacking the motivation. I love my friends absolutely to bits, but lately I feel a bit like Lucy (psychiatrist OPEN, 5 cents) and the last thing I need is more! So it's ever onwards for this girl... Maybe Dad is right, I need to stop looking for a guy and find a nice girl to shack up with? Naaaah... I know first hand that we're just as screwed up as the guys, no improvement there. Ciao! |
24 Dec 2006
| The Night Before Christmas First of all, I can't believe I forgot to mention it, but it was my Mom's birthday on the day of my last posting. Not that she'll know, 'cause she never reads this, but still... HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mom, I love ya! So, those of you who read this blog regularly are probably wondering... wasn't there supposed to be a date Friday night? What happened? How did it go? I had a good time - we went to the Spaghetti Factory which I haven't been to in ages and then wandered around amongst the last minute panic shoppers before catching a late show of "Eragon". I haven't read the books, but I found the movie a bit disappointing. Sigh. I know, I know... you're saying that's what you DID not how it went. Well, the truth is that David really is a sweet, intelligent guy, but... something wasn't quite right. And that's all you get for now because a) I need to think about it a bit more and b) even if I could define it explicitly, I owe it to him to talk to him first, not let him read it here. Bah! Unfortunately, the next couple of days are tied up with family affairs (at Christmas? No way!), a trip out of town and then going back to work. Lord. At any rate, my parents should be asleep by now, so I'm going to put on my Santa hat and go fill the stockings. Then it's early-ish to bed for me. I got a mild case of food poisoning yesterday and spent part of last night marveling at the unexpected effects of 2 years of Pilates. Then I spent a large portion of today playing with Ella. I'm exhausted. Ciao! |
21 Dec 2006
| In the same old news... Well, I ended up talking to both David and Gerry again last night. I actually said to Gerry that since David is reading back in this blog, I felt like I should introduce them! I was actually in communication with Gerry on and off all day, as I think it may finally be sinking in that things are not going to be patched up with his wife. He was in pretty rough shape, so I was trying to keep an eye on him and be supportive. However, I was also trying to keep Thing 1 from going too overboard, she's already upset over something she thinks might happen with Guy at Christmas... By the evening I was exhausted and wanted to talk to someone "normal". So I thought, what the heck and I called David. I wasn't clock watching this time, but we did talk for quite a while and it was great. We did talk about previous relationships for a bit, but not in anyway that required me to come up with sage answers... phew. He commented on how easy and comfortable it is to talk to me, which is something I hear quite often. As I said to him, I don't really understand it, I don't think I do anything special, but I'm happy that people feel that way. Which ties into something else that we discussed... He wants to try and take things slow, which is fine by me. (My behaviour with Gerry really WAS out of character for me and while I don't regret it, I'm not sure I want to make sop either. I don't condemn or begrudge casual sex, but I'm sure not good at it either... where my body goes, my heart tends to follow. Whether or not my head was consulted. Of course, the relevant word there is "try"... Ciao! |
Ger felt that maybe that could wait a while... I don't see why! lol
) The challenge is to keep in mind that lots of people think I'm easy/nice to talk to, but very few of them want to date me (and vice versa!) I'm not making any predictions on this, but in the spirit of optimism, I'd rather be careful and not mess anything up.
19 Dec 2006
| The merry-go-round still turns I certainly seemed to have started this blog with good timing! First Ger, now David - maybe my life decided to get interesting just so I wouldn't be writing went to work, went to sleep, went to work, etc. over and over. When I gave David my card, he made a big deal of having my email address, so I spent yesterday vaguely expecting an email, but nothing. Then I got home and he called me! Men are just confusing... Anyway, he was calling to see if I was still interested in getting together for dinner and we made a date for Friday night. We also talked for a while... I didn't look at the clock right away, but I think we talked for close to 2 hours. Phew! Mostly an exchange of basic bio information, but fun and interesting. I always worry that once that's over, you'll have nothing to talk about, but I woke up this morning with a bunch of things to ask, so I'm not worried about Friday, anyway. I also found myself mentally putting together a reading list for him, based on references I made that he didn't get and had to kick myself. Sometimes I'm so rude, I'm amazed I have ANY friends! LOL I gave him the address here and from the email I got this morning, he read at least some of the blog. Since he still says he's looking forward to Friday, he's either very brave or not as smart as he seems... thank goodness for me. Gerry actually MSN'd me in the middle of the conversation, and I told him I was talking to the "bingo guy" and would get back to him. His response? "Wooo Hooo! You go girl!" (As an aside, I texted him Sunday night when David first asked about going out, which made Gina laugh like mad. "You're texting your ex about getting a date?" Ger knew the intention it was sent with, why does everyone else think it's so strange?) I got back to him once I was off the phone and we had a nice chat. He's on an upswing and it was good to see him smiling. I won't repeat his other comments regarding the date on Friday - he's incorrigible! That seems to be all for now, so... Ciao! P.S. I'm listening to Lorrie Matheson "A Dime At A Time" |
18 Dec 2006
| Heat, yeah! Ok, so maybe I should have waited and posted the whole weekend at once? Well, who knew? The good news is that a nice guy from Epcor showed up about three hours later and gimmyrigged the furnace, so there was heat again! Of course, it wasn't a real fix, broken part or something, so we have to pay a repair guy some astonishing amount of money to replace the part. I suppose I wouldn't mind except that it's this tiny, flimsy little thing that looks like a rebent paperclip and it'll probably cost $100 for him to push it onto a post or something. Yikes. The real news is from later in the day. As I mentioned I had agreed to work a bingo for my friend Gina in support of Workshop West. So I trundled myself off and had about as good a time as one could expect at a bingo. Knowing that I can count and don't fluster easily, Gina put me in the cage. Since she was the bosslady, she was in there too and we had a nice chance to gossip and catch up. She gave me a great Christmas present - a personally cross stitched sampler that says "Love Stinks". It has a heart with little smell lines coming off of it and she put it in a totally tacky, perfect gold frame. I laughed my ass off! Which apparently caught the attention of Dave. Yes, dear friends and readers, after four years of solitude, the men are suddenly... hmmm... I don't know if two is really "coming out of the woodwork", but it sure feels like it! To backtrack a little, I already knew that this guy existed from Friday night. Gina's friend Eva suggested that he might be willing to work at the bingo, I was talking about the split with Gerry, there was some suggestion that we might hit it off.... But if you're single, you hear stuff like this all the time and rarely does anything come of it. So we chatted a little, as people in a group who don't all know each other do and then the bingo started. He was out on the floor, so we didn't have any long conversations, but there were funny bits. At one point, he said "we should get together to talk sometime that's not here" and you could have knocked me over with a feather - so I gave him my card. At the end of the night, he was asking around about a ride home, and it turns out that he lives walking distance from me, so we had a chance to talk a bit more in the car. My first impressions? Cute and earnest with encouraging hints of intelligence and good humour. Sounds like a wine description, heh. Given my very recent experience Ciao! P.S. I'm listening to Hot Hot Heat, Make Up The Breakdown |
, I'm not gonna spread the word too much this time. The Things know and of course, you dear readers, but that's it for now. Maybe I'll surprise people if I end up having plans for Valentine's Day.17 Dec 2006
| Not quite frozen I know, it's early for my weekend post, but I'll be heading straight to bed when I get home tonight, so I thought I'd get a jump on the reporting. Gina called me at work on Friday with potential plans for that night and today. Since my original plans for this weekend were to be in Red Deer, I thought keeping busy was probably a good idea, so I agreed to both. Thusly, after dinner on Friday, she picked me up and we headed over to the Roxy to see "The Summer of My Amazing Luck." I usually like Chris Craddock's work and this was no exception. Good little show. It was also nice to get a chance to catch up with Gina. Apparently Ayla is talking about moving to PA, and the whole situation is far from stable. Here's hoping that all works out well! Yesterday, I slept in and then got Christmas-y. I got the lights on the tree and then wrapped presents. By then, my Mom was back and we decorated the tree, the whole experience complete with hot chocolate and Christmas carols. Phew! Later, I dropped her and Grandma at my uncle's for dinner and took a bag of survival gear over to Thing 2, who is suffering from the combined effects of cold, allergies and nicotine withdrawal. Yuck! Since we were at loose ends, Dad and I headed out to see Casino Royale. I thought it was very good. I don't think I have a decided opinion on the "best Bond" or the "best Bond movie"; I like 'em all, with the exception of Timothy Dalton *shudder*. Thing 1 was very happy because there's an extended scene featuring Daniel Craig incredibly naked - however, she failed to mention that it's a torture scene. Kinda takes a lot of the fun out of it, in my humble opinion! Skewered lamb, though, now that was good! At 2.5 hours, it was passed Dad's bed time when the movie ended, so I dropped him at home and went back to visit with my uncle and his wife for a bit before driving Grandma and Mom home. By then, it was definitely time for bed! Normally, on mornings when my alarm isn't set, I sleep until the furnace kicks in and combined with my electric blanket, I start to overheat. This morning, I woke up feeling slightly chilled, in spite of my lovely blankie. Why? The stupid furnace stopped working and the repair guys are gonna show up sometime in the next 24 hours. ?!?!?!? Are you kidding me? Where's Dave when I need him? So my plan today is to stay wrapped up and work on the teddy bear that I'm making for Myles. Then I'm due at the WEM Bingo at 4pm, to work a shift in the cage for Gina. Normally I'd say, "the things I do for friendship", but today, I'm just betting that it'll be warmer than here! Ciao! |
15 Dec 2006
| Bronze, bah. There are details here that are not mine to share, but what it boils down to is, that in the race for Gerry's affections.... I'm in third place. And it's not neck and neck either, the "competition" has a solid lead - despite the fact that the odds seem to be against either one or two ever working out. The infuriating thing is that even Gerry recognizes this state of affairs and told me and I still held out hope that there was a chance. Aargh! Why? I'm not normally willing, even eager to sell myself so short. As usual, it's a multi-faceted answer... First, despite his poor taste in not falling for me, I still say that in every other way he's worth it. He just really needs to start believing that. Second, I'm tired of being alone. Truly, utterly, bone-tired of it; but if past cycles hold true, I've got four more years to endure, so I'd best get used to it. Third, and hardest to admit, is the blow to my ego. You will never hear me earnestly proclaim that I am without issues, and I have no desire to deny that the other two women in the case have strongly appealing characteristics, but.... damn it! I'm not ugly or stupid or cruel and I can't help but feel that the fact that I have the unique charm of being emotionally available should have counted for more! However, I'm always saying that the heart and the mind don't necessarily act together, so I guess I'd better start getting used to it. I suppose I could "fight" for him - but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work and I'd ruin a very valuable friendship. Or worse, if I somehow convinced him to give it another try - I'd still be third choice and I'd definitely start to resent it and I'd ruin a very valuable friendship. So, I guess I really do choose to be the one who uses logic to make her emotions toe the line. But why does it have to hurt? And I want to state for the record that I am irked that once again I'm giving up what I want for the sake of everyone involved. I'm tired of being the grown-up! Pbbttthhhhhh.... Ciao. (My theme song this week is Alicia Keys "If I Was Your Woman" accompanied by cursing and crying, punctuated by things thrown across the room! |
)12 Dec 2006
| Side Effects of Blogging Why do I post this blog? It's certainly not for your entertainment, based on my views numbers! The other interesting effect right now is that Gerry reads these and it certainly spawns some interesting conversations. So I feel the need to point out to all of you that nothing I write here is meant to be taken as a final, concrete opinion or belief - it's a snapshot of how I feel at the moment and likely, as a result of being written down it's about to mutate anyway! Last night, I had another little glimmer of enlightenment, and it went something like this: I love Gerry. Of course I do, I love Kay and they share a lot of lovable characteristics - generosity, kindness, intelligence, good humor. However, am I "in love" with Gerry? Well, that's the question isn't it and what bugs me about the whole situation is I feel like it got "mutated" before I had a chance to get the answer. Ger decided he wasn't in love with me and *bing* on we go. As I was planning this blog this morning though, I realized something. As Thing 1 pointed out, we are still talking as much as we ever were, it's just that there's no sex. And while I like sex, The challenge here will be not to miss out on other opportunities (hah!) and I'll do my best. Ciao! |
I used to keep a diary and it was very useful. I find that if there's something on my mind, I'll develop the idea to a certain point and then it just goes round and round in my brain. If I leave it, it just develops a rut - I think I'm afraid that I'll forget some aspect of it. If I write it down, then I can start to examine it, analyze it and move along. I got tired of the diary, but here, there's a least a dream of interaction (even if none of you actually ever comment!) and so far it's holding my attention.
and I even think it's important, I don't think it's the be all and end all. So I am totally able to just hang out, be friends and see what happens... if we're "just" friends, great. If I do fall in love, then I guess I deal with that when I realize that it's happened.10 Dec 2006
| More pop psychobabble I always seem to check in after the weekends, and this one was a bit of a doozy, at least from my end, so here goes.... On the fun side, Mom and I picked up a Christmas tree Saturday afternoon. Yes, we're not traditional anythings in this household, but it's a real tree all the way. Love the smell, the color, the asymmetry, sweeping up needles for weeks... everything. Saturday night was Moonlight Madness at WEM - stores open 'til 11pm and not enough sales to make it worthwhile. However, the crowds were pretty light and we got more of Thing 1's shopping for Dave done, so that was good. We also talked more about things between Gerry and me. She's astonished that I can go straight into being "just" friends, as she'd need to take some time away, before coming back to the friendship thing. Plus, she says, nothing's changed except that we're not having sex (too true, sigh) and she doesn't understand ANY guy choosing to keep all the rest and not that. To try and answer those in reverse order... imho, it wasn't the sex that was the problem, it was the assumptions/implications/repercussions (or to be slightly snippy - strings) that go along with it that were the problem. That's being a little unfair to Gerry (which I'm sure he'll mention) but I think it captures the essence of it. Or, at least, that part of it... As for the friends thing... I don't date horrible men. Emotional cripples, oh my yes, but truly incorrigible, nasty guys? No. So if we were friends before the sex, why shouldn't we be afterwards? I admit, it makes for some strange and awkward moments while you shift the lines around. (Why is it ok for me to fold his laundry when I'm sleeping with him, but not when I'm not?) Now you're asking yourself, when was she folding his laundry? Well, I wasn't folding for long (he growled, lol)... but I did go down to Red Deer this afternoon. I had a legit errand, I wanted to drop off Gerry and the kids' Christmas presents. (I particularly wanted the kids to have theirs ON Christmas!) But I also knew that the first time seeing Gerry after the split was gonna be odd, and for me, the longer the wait, the odder it would have been. This is where Thing 1 felt she'd need more time, but for me, more time was just more opportunity to evolve elaborate "he'll sweep me in his arms and tell me what a fool he's been" scenarios. That doesn't get me over anything! Instead, we had lunch, did some shopping and he helped me put a basecoat in the miniature I bought a few weeks ago. And weirdly, THAT was when I almost lost it. As I was painting, I was thinking how I should take it home with me so I could work on it. But when he didn't have the colours I wanted, he packed it up and told me I'd have to get my own and work on it, and I almost started crying. God knows I've been doing my best to put the romance hopes in a box, but that was like the final nail in the coffin and it hurt. Probably a good thing all around, but it still hurt... You know, my friends keep telling me what a great girlfriend I am: generous, understanding, blah, blah, blah... I think that almost makes it worse, because the guys who break up with me, well it never seems like a hardship to them. I mean, they feel bad, because they're nice guys and they don't want to hurt me. But they never seem to feel any regret on their own behalf. Not that I expect wailing and nashing of teeth - hopefully if we were that perfect together we wouldn't be splitting up, but some indication that they were personally sorry it didn't work out would be nice. As you can tell, I was in a perfectly charming frame of mind by the time I got home this evening. I probably would have brooded myself into a totally black mood, but I logged onto MSN to let Gerry know I'd got home in one piece and Loo started a conversation. She's Gerry's "other" girlfriend, the one who he's taking on vacation in March. The three of us had an entertaining and risque three-way chat and it was impossible to feel too bad after that. So all I can say is, a huge pile of kudos to the other nympho-brat for helping me tagteam Gerry! Yeah!!!! Ciao! (PS Listening to Alicia Keyes, Songs in A Minor) |
08 Dec 2006
| The Thing massacre that didn't happen As you may have gathered from previous blogs, I was a bit worried about what would happen when I told Thing 1 and Thing 2 that things hadn't worked out (at least romantically) with Gerry. Based on their reactions to a previous potential BF, I had visions of berserker attacks on Red Deer - or at least that they would harangue me for wanting to continue being friends and urge me to be bitter and vindictive towards poor ol' Gerry. With this in mind, I arranged to have dinner with them last night, so I could break the news to them simultaneously and only have to defend myself once. So we got a table, ordered and then I said, "I had ulterior motives for arranging this, I have something to tell you." Deep breath. "Things have not worked out with Gerry." I braced myself for the explosion and .... there wasn't one! They were sad for me and think that G is missing out on a great thing, but that was it. When I expressed my surprise, they said that the previous guy was an asshole and deserved it, whereas Gerry is sweet but misguided. So, I don't have to worry about ninja troops decending on Red Deer. At least, not sent from Edmonton. I don't think anyone has informed Kay of the change in affairs! lol Ciao! |
05 Dec 2006
| Semantics Ok, Gerry objects to the term "dumped". On the one hand, as the quote injured party unquote, I find it funny that he wants to dictate terms. Mostly though, now that I've calmed down a bit, I can see his point. Whatever my feelings on the matter, I KNOW that in his mind, the last thing in the world he wants to do is hurt me and he's acted the best way he knows how to avoid that. He didn't abuse me, insult me, lie to me or do anything but be apologetic, tender and understanding to his best ability in the given sucky situation, so I can cut him some slack. I haven't told the Things yet, because I'm just not up to it, but I know it's gonna have to be soon. If nothing else, they'll wonder what's up when I don't go to RD this weekend. I'm just as glad that they don't read this blog though, cause this entry would send them over the edge for sure. All I can say is, how I think and feel is how I think and feel - when he breaks up with them, they're welcome to act as they see fit. So, I don't know how I'll describe it exactly, but I'll try and avoid the term "dumped" for the time being. Ciao!
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| Bruised, but not broken 28 views today?!?!? What did you guys do? Tell all your friends, "Hey, she got dumped, it's finally interesting reading!" Sheesh. So, yes, I fired up MSN last night after Dr. Who as usual and got a request to call him instead. I figured that his soon-to-be ex had done something outstandingly upsetting and he wanted to talk in person. Instead, he said that he'd spent the weekend thinking - never a good sign. I don't want to rehash the whole conversation here; it was pretty disjointed, it was private and it likely wouldn't make sense to anyone else. To boil it down to a nutshell, I think I can sum it up to: he really likes me, but he doesn't love me. Which is fair enough - my biggest hang up with the whole situation is a philosophical difference. I think Gerry believes that it's love at first site or nothin'. I don't think love at first site is impossible, but I sure don't believe it's necessary. However, (and this is the part that usually gets me in trouble with my friends) if I care about someone, then I want them to be happy. And if they will be happier without me than with me, then how can I kick up a huge fuss? This is not to say that Gerry's gonna disappear from my life (at least, I hope not!) - all the things that we had in common and enjoyed sharing are still there and I genuinely want to be friends. For me at least, if that wasn't the case, then none of the rest would have been possible. And this sticks me back in the same situation I was in when Mike and I broke up. My friends are gonna rant and rail, make homocide plans and generally want to trash and abuse Gerry. And I'm gonna be spending my time defending him and justifying my actions, when what I really want is someone just to sympathize with me that it didn't work out. Only I could end up in a situation where the person who best understands how I feel is the one who hurt me. I bet when Gerry reads this, he'll know exactly what I mean... Hell, typed all that and NOW I'm crying. lol ...that's the best part about blogging - I can pause to regroup and it's instantaneous for you! Anyway, as I've said all along, I went into this knowing that it might not work out (as I would with ANY new relationship!) so I'm upset and disappointed, but I will get over it. And I know I will, which will help along the way. In a sense, the worst part is the physical aspect. I truly am a person who thrives on physical contact and for four years, I've been on what I think of as a starvation diet. Now I've had 5 weekends of cuddling, sex and affection and I have to go back to nothing. In a lot of ways, it would have been easier to just continue without it. Sigh. (Please, don't flood my inbox with offers of casual sex, I won't take you up on them! lol) That's about all for now, although I'm sure there will be more in the future! Ciao! |
04 Dec 2006
| Aaaah, the irony I suppose if you read my last post, you probably saw it coming. I however, was writing, not reading and I missed it. I just got dumped. And I mean JUST, so I'm not writing anymore now. 2:48 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove |
| Fun, Fun, Not So Fun Once again I was out of town for the weekend, but surprisingly, the destination this time was Calgary, not Red Deer! (Yes, for those of you who are keeping track, this was the first weekend in 5 weeks that I haven't seen Gerry. Yeesh! When I realized that, I bopped over to update my profile info - I didn't before 'cause "it hasn't been long - you don't want to push things - etc" but it seems like a relationship to me. If he doesn't like it, he can dump me. Anyway, Mom and I piled all the stuff we were taking for my sister into the car Friday night and set out for Calgary. Despite all the concern, the roads really weren't too bad. We got to Kay and David's around 9:30 and hit the sack fairly early. The next morning, we went to Meg and Geoff's place to hang out, help with some chores, play with my niece and nephew - it was great. Unfortunately, Miles picked up a bug so he was a bit under the weather and cried, but hey, he's 3 months old, what are you gonna do? After lunch, I met up again with Kay and we went clothes shopping. She was looking for pants and I still wanted a new top to wear to Gerry's Christmas party. Well, we found pants and a nifty velvet jacket for her. I was actually glad to have Kay along, since I've never been to this party and wasn't entirely sure of the dress code. (Gerry said classy casual, which could be damn near anything.) So I ended up with something a bit more risque than I might have picked on my own and I'll have to gird up a bit of courage to wear, but I think it's cool. Hopefully G will like it - David certainly did, he was offering to help me take it off with a pair of scissors. Saturday night, we went to visit former neighbours and still friends of K&D, who have a new house down around Okatoks. It's an acreage type set-up and a huge house - very nice. We had roast veggies, salad and very yummy lamb kebobs. Then David and Derek got very drunk on single malt and we all played Trivial Pursuit. Kay and I had come separately since David was nominally on call and had to bring the work truck. Which meant that I got to drive him and the truck home and get his alcohol fueled version of the "don't get hurt in this thing with Gerry" talk. It was sweet and funny and heartfelt and pure Dave - all-in-all, my favorite one so far! I don't know exactly what time we got home, but it was certainly past 1am. I slept like a log and then got to have a soak in Kay's giant tub. I can't remember if I've mentioned it before, but I LOVE baths and have no tub at home, so I'm always taking advantage of other peoples. K&D's is big, has a retractable shower head and is supported by an enormous hot water tank. Heaven! After my epic soak, I packed up my stuff and headed back over to Meg and Geoff's. We had lunch and then decorated their potted Norfolk pine. Ella was getting antsy, so Geoff and I took her tobogganing on her new "Dora" sled. It was lots of fun, but I hadn't packed for it so I got soaked. Thank god it was close to 0 degrees by then, or I would have frozen out on the hill. The crazy pre-adolescent boys could have used me as a ramp! lol There are pics, so I'll post a couple of good ones as soon as I have a chance to download 'em. Once my clothes were dry, Mom and I hit the road for home. There was some light snow and the roads were a bit slippy in places - particularly around Red Deer. We hadn't eaten, so we stopped at Gerry and Kay's family's favorite place - George's. Then I took over the driving and we headed north again. The roads were exciting until we got to about Hobema and then things seemed to clear up. There had been several accidents on the southbound side, but going north seemed to be ok. I didn't say anything though, because I was afraid to jinx us - apparently, the fates heard me thinking... We got a little way passed the Leduc overpass and traffic just... stopped. We sat there for about an hour and moved maybe half a kilometer. When we did finally start moving, it was because the cops were sending everyone back up the service road to Leduc, across the highway and on to Devon. And of course, by then it had started to snow again. In the end, we left Calgary around 5, stopped 45 minutes to eat and got home around 11:15. Not the best time I've ever made on that trip. As you can imagine, I wasn't thrilled at the prospect of coming to work this morning! And I seem to be expressing my disinterest with an extra-long post! lol Ciao! |
lethargic 
But I hope not...)
I still haven't heard anything about what actually happened to cause the problem.01 Dec 2006
| A-maze-ing Dreams For several years now, I've had semi-regular dreams that have a common theme: they all feature some kind of maze-like aspect. Very few of them have overt mazes, but I'm always in some kind of situation where I have to find my way through dead-ends, loops, backtracking, etc. And just like a video game, it's not just about the pathfinding - other stuff is happening at the same time. The details of last night's are a bit fuzzy, but let me tell you what I remember. I was in a canoe with my friend Leela and we were paddling through a swamp. It was sunny and hot (not murky) and there wasn't much line of sight due to huge clumps of grass, cattails, etc. Another canoe was travelling with us, paddled by a guy along the lines of Cheech in "50 First Dates" and a couple of kids. Eventually, we came to a Hawaiian-style beach: white sand, crystal blue water - don't ask me how, in the middle of a swamp. Anyway, we spent the afternoon swimming, catching crabs to roast on the beach, etc. Quite idyllic. I don't remember what, if anything, connected the two, but next we were back in the boats and paddling hard because something was behind us. It was a couple of other canoes, carrying my sister, her husband and kids plus a selection of faceless dream people. I don't know why I found that menacing, but we all knew we couldn't let the other boats catch up. So we paddled and paddled and Leela was guiding us.... "through that space, around that clump, etc." It was as we were wending our way out of the swamp that I woke up. I always get really wrapped up in these dreams; this morning I'm exhausted and my biceps hurt - I think I was holding them tensed up in reaction to all the paddling. There was a bit of a change in this dream, in that Leela was helping us find our way out. In all my previous dreams, I've had to work my way through the labyrinth on my own. My first groggy thought when I woke up this morning was that maybe it had to do with Gerry coming into my life, but now that I'm a little more awake, that seems too pat. Or possibly that's just my allergic reaction to sentimentality coming in to play. Who knows? As I say, I've been having variations on this dream for years and other than the fairly obvious thought that it's about searching for something, I've never put my finger on what my subconscious is trying to tell me. If you have any brilliant thoughts, by all means, let me know! Ciao. |
29 Nov 2006
| Random randomness I don't actually have anything specific to talk about today, it's just been a while. Didn't want all my loyal readers to think I'd forgotten about them! lol Actually I've spent the last few days wrestling with a nasty thought that I'm not prepared to share at this juncture. At any rate, it seemed to call for some kind of action and I couldn't decide what to do. In the end, I've decided that it's one of those "no clear cut right or wrong" - I just have to pick a course of action and deal with what happens. So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm not sure I'm happy about it exactly, but I feel like I can stop brooding about it, so that's good right? Vague enough for ya? Sorry, but not sorry enough to share more. Ha! I've just been told that the cold snap is supposed to break and by tomorrow it should be back to "normal" winter temperatures! I'm not getting too excited, in case they're wrong, but it sure would be nice. I'm tired of being cold all the time - stupid old house. I've also decided that if I'm gonna be wasting time and being frustrated at the hospital I should at least be paid marginally well for it, so I'm applying for a different position. I don't think I'll last more than 2 years at it, but at least I won't be quite as broke all the time; I might even *gasp* be able to move out again! Not gonna get my hopes too up on that front just yet though... So that's it - angst, work, gearing up for Christmas... it's life as normal around here! Ciao. |
21 Nov 2006
| Scratch N' Sniff I can't have been the only woman to have noticed this, but I find it an interesting phenomenon. When you've been with a guy for a little while, your smell starts to change. Not that other things smell differently, but that what you smell like to yourself changes. I'd be curious to know more about this.... if other people were in the habit of sniffing you, would they notice? Do men find that the same thing happens? What, if anything, happens to those folks who are in the habit of bringing home a different partner for every night of the week? Maybe it's one of those evolutionary things? If we still paid attention to our sense of smell, would this somehow help us establish our territory (as it were?) I may have to research this, but if anyone knows of any studies into this, I'd be glad to have a reference or link passed along. The strange, random thoughts that pass through my brain.... Ciao! |
19 Nov 2006
| Geekiness, etc. I don't think anyone reads this on a regular basis but Gerry and he's there for most of it, but what the heck. For some reason, I'm finding this more appealing that pulling out the ol' paper diary, so I'll stick with it. I caught the Red Arrow to Red Deer on Friday, which is normally a pretty forgetable experience. This time, as we were cruisin' down Gateway Blvd. some dork pulled out of the BMW dealership straight into the side of the bus. He wasn't going fast enough to make a big bang, just a long scraping crunch and the bus ground off the front bumper. Heh. We were only about 15 minutes late - didn't even change buses. I need to bring a Polaroid with me or something. We had dinner with Ron, Carol and more of the Goldwingers. I get introduced to 10 or 12 people at a shot and I just can't process all the names and faces. Then Saturday night was dinner with Ron, Carol and family members, more of whom I'm getting a grasp on, thank god. It's almost cheating though, some of them I met 10 years ago at Kay's wedding, after all. We spent most of Saturday at Grots - of which Gerry is a founding member. This is the group of geeks in RD that are into painting and gaming with miniatures. I was actually pretty impressed, there's a good age spread and the younger members are not allowed to just run rampant. There wasn't a huge turn out for the tournament - bad for Gerry's challenge level but probably good for me. There was space for me to hang about and watch and since there were only 2 games on at once, I could kinda watch both and get a feel for how things go. I don't know if I'll ever get into actually playing (probably like video games, which I'd rather watch than play -weird, I know) but I did buy a figure to try my hand at painting. Then watched Gerry curse putting it together! We headed into Edmonton on Sunday in time for an 11 o'clock brunch with my family. It was Megan and Geoff's first trip up with the kids since they moved to Calgary, so we had them, Tom and Judy and me and Gerry stuffed into the house, but it worked out. Poor Ella took one look at Gerry and went backwards up the stairs away from him and ran to her mom! By the end of the day, she could ignore him, but she was never quite ready to make friends. Ah, next time. He's met various members of my family over the years, but this was his first exposure to a large group at about average weirdness levels and he didn't run screaming, so that was good. Not that I expected him too, but you never know! So yes, things are going well. We have lots of conversations that I am NOT repeating here, but we still seem to get along and enjoy each other's company - yeah! Ciao. |
13 Nov 2006
| Loud N' Queer My friend Gina is working with Workshop West now, so she asked me if I could volunteer at this year's Loud N' Queer event. I've seen the show in previous years and had a blast, so I said sure. My first shift was Friday night working in the box office (which was really a table in the lobby!) I hadn't met any of the other folks before and things were a little disorganized when I got there, but in the end it went well. It wasn't a sell out crowd but the place was respectably full. Originally, Rhonda was going to come and use one of my "comp" tickets, but she bowed out. I was tired enough myself that I stayed long enough to reconcile the take, then I headed for home. I got about 11 hours sleep that night, so I was feeling pretty perky when my phone rang around 9:30. It was Leela! She was in town and wanting to get together at totally short notice, as usual. We made plans to go for breakfast on Sunday. Gerry arrived at noon. I'd been helping clean the house, but dropped out at that point to give him a shiatsu treatment. Then we headed across the river to Dadeo's for lunch. Mmmmm... Dadeo's - one of my favorite restaurants. Yummy! All the carbs and beer put Gerry to sleep though, so we came back to the house for a nap. We were up in good time to get ready and head out for my second shift at Loud N' Queer. We stayed for the first two sets and it was great! Not as raunchy as I remember from previous years, but very entertaining.... my favorites were "the people in your neighbourhood" and "porn stars in a row boat". I also sold raffle tickets in the intermissions which was fun of a whole other kind. They sell the tickets $1 for one, $3 for an arm's length and $5 for an inseam. The idea is you can pick whose inseam and measure it yourself, if you like. Most people were too shy to do their own measuring, so I did a lot. Wow. By the end of the second set, Gerry was getting sleepy, so I did the raffle sales and then we headed home. The only thing I missed was that I only got to talk to Gina for about 30 seconds over the two nights. Oops! I'll try and call her this week. Gerry and I got up Sunday morning in time to shower and pick Leela up at 10. She was a bit hung over, so we went to Humpty's to satisfy her grease craving. Bleah - I'm not going there again. Aside from the bland and luke warm food though, it was great to see her again. She's doing well and seems a bit happier than of late, I was glad to see. I was also glad that she and Gerry seemed to get along (not that I was especially worried, but you never know!) After we dropped her off, we headed out to WEM to see "Borat". A movie that sick and twisted just shouldn't be funny, but I have to admit that I did laugh. We were thinking of doing some shopping, but neither of us was really in the mood. (I'm used to my broken down futon, but Gerry didn't sleep particularly well.) Instead, we got some lunch and headed back to the house. I did a little bit of work to put his back to rights and then he had to head back to Red Deer. I had a client this morning, but now I'm off into the snow to do some shopping. Wheeeeee! Ciao. |
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