'cause I'm in that state. I thought perhaps "ennervated" would cover it, but when I looked it up, it turns out it doesn't officially exist. Scuba, snafu and god knows what else, but no ennervated. So, whatever the word is that describes me, I can't put my finger on it.
Why am I in this crazy state? Stress. In the really, truly original physiological meaning of the word. We got the keys to the house today. Ursa hurt herself (but is fortunately improving very quickly!) The flooring, the packing, the m*****-******g banks, allergy season and my stupid subconscious dealing with it all in some strange and exhausting dream sequences.
I'll wish later that I'd talked about getting the keys, so I'm going to do my best. I took the c-train to work this morning to that Stuart could have the car. He picked me up at 11:30 with A&W in hand and we tooled over. Chris was already there with the lights on and the front door open. I kinda wish that the setting was a bit more "Viagra commercial" (you know... shining sun, twittering birds, singing children), but at least it wasn't actually raining. All of the work specified in the contract had been done (although not perhaps not as well as possible), the house still smelled of cleaning products, there was toilet paper in the bathrooms and beer/wine in the fridge.
In fact, the previous owners were still packing the last load out of the garage when we came around the corner. Ooops!
We chatted a bit with Chris and prowled around confirming our memories of the place. Finished our lunch on the kitchen floor, planned some more furniture placement and then Stuart brought me back to work. It's almost futile, I can't keep a train of thought on one track for more than about two minutes. Sigh. Stuart headed out to Red Deer to pay Gerry and our flooring should be delivered tomorrow.
Monday night I dreamed that I was visiting Toronto and left all my luggage in a subway station. I can sort of understand that one. Last night, I dreamed that for some reason, I was sick and the treatment was to stick a large barrel needle through my chest wall and inject synthetic blood into my heart. Except that they missed and pumped stuff into my lungs. In my dream, I was conscious and surprisingly unconcerned about this: "I guess you'll just have to try again." I have no idea what was going on with that one!
People keep saying "You must be so excited!" but honestly I'm just exhausted. Little bits of excitement keep leaking out, but they die sad sputtering deaths because I just don't have the energy to maintain them. In a couple of weeks, when the floors are done, my bathroom isn't pink, my stuff is moved and maybe... even... unpacked? then I'll be excited.
Ok? I promise.
3 comments:
Dreams are always so much fun. I had a few truly surreal ones in early January ... I think the best ones are actually recorded in a journal somewhere!
Sorry to be such a copy editor, but the reason you didn't find "ennervated" is that it's spelled with one n: enervated. The meaning, however, is spot-on for what you've been feeling: having your strength and vitality weakened and sapped. You've had a lot on your plate, but once you're actually in the new place, I hope that signals the end of being enervated and the beginning of being exhilarated!
Ha! C, I do it to other people all the time, so it's only fair! And yes, misspelling would explain my problem with finding it.
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